Post by moony-chaz on Oct 4, 2008 14:47:22 GMT -5
hey all
well i have a problem and i really don't know what to do, to be honest i don't have much friends, i used to have but since some moved away or had got other interest i dont have many but its mostly because i was shy and quiet when i was around 14 years old, i only spoke when i was supose to be spoken and in class people hated me just because i was shy, i thought after 4 years, so that means i am 18 now, that it will be all over, italk more, mostly about LP but mweh , i dare more and stuff...but since march when my mother died i feel depressed all the time, i have lost interest in everything, including people, i sometimes scream that i hate people ,i dont really mean it and i have no idea why i do it, i start crying randomly and most of the time i dont even know why im crying, one time i was in the city with a friend and some girls and guys from my old school saw me and started saying things to me like : ", b*tch and you dont deserve to life you freak" that kind of stuff, and thats just because i was shy ,freaking 4 years ago! after that happend i got scared to be honost and didnt want to meet new people at all because it seems that alot of people remember me from a few years ago... so i stopped going to the city and stuff and now im just in my room all the time, i have no interest in anything,, to make things worse, these 4 days there is something in my city thats called a "kermis" ( i dont know what its called in english but dutch people will understand what it is) ... my father is saying all the time that i should go and stuff, but i really dont want to im just too scared because of what people will say to me and stuff, i really want to move to a different city but i dont have the money.
im also getting crazy because of my father, he just keeps saying i should do stuff but i dont want to , im not the typ of person who goes out, getting drunk and stuff.. i dont like that, but my dad just keeps saying that i throw my life away and that these years are suposse to be the best years of my life .. i just want them to be over as quickly as possible
well i think i typed this to get it a little out of me, sorry if i got you guys bored and that it's so long.
well i have a problem and i really don't know what to do, to be honest i don't have much friends, i used to have but since some moved away or had got other interest i dont have many but its mostly because i was shy and quiet when i was around 14 years old, i only spoke when i was supose to be spoken and in class people hated me just because i was shy, i thought after 4 years, so that means i am 18 now, that it will be all over, italk more, mostly about LP but mweh , i dare more and stuff...but since march when my mother died i feel depressed all the time, i have lost interest in everything, including people, i sometimes scream that i hate people ,i dont really mean it and i have no idea why i do it, i start crying randomly and most of the time i dont even know why im crying, one time i was in the city with a friend and some girls and guys from my old school saw me and started saying things to me like : ", b*tch and you dont deserve to life you freak" that kind of stuff, and thats just because i was shy ,freaking 4 years ago! after that happend i got scared to be honost and didnt want to meet new people at all because it seems that alot of people remember me from a few years ago... so i stopped going to the city and stuff and now im just in my room all the time, i have no interest in anything,, to make things worse, these 4 days there is something in my city thats called a "kermis" ( i dont know what its called in english but dutch people will understand what it is) ... my father is saying all the time that i should go and stuff, but i really dont want to im just too scared because of what people will say to me and stuff, i really want to move to a different city but i dont have the money.
im also getting crazy because of my father, he just keeps saying i should do stuff but i dont want to , im not the typ of person who goes out, getting drunk and stuff.. i dont like that, but my dad just keeps saying that i throw my life away and that these years are suposse to be the best years of my life .. i just want them to be over as quickly as possible
well i think i typed this to get it a little out of me, sorry if i got you guys bored and that it's so long.
used muscles i didnt even know i had XD
